Sean University: Like a Fridge over Troubled Water

by Sean Adams

Refrigerators are a lot like offices: they both have doors and compartments and things inside. One of the things you’ll find in an office is a refrigerator, which is a lot like an office, because it has doors and compartments and things inside, except it doesn’t have a refrigerator in it like offices do.

But look, we could go on like this all day. The point is that offices have refrigerators in them, which are a lot like offices themselves because they have doors and compartments and things inside. And, like offices, there need to be some rules. You can’t just let people put whatever they want in there. That would be madness, almost like if you didn’t have any rules for what people could bring into the office itself, which by the way, if you think about it, is kind of like a refrigerator (similarities include doors, compartments, things, etc.) built to keep your business fresh.

But we’re not going to talk about rules for your whole office. We’re going to keep this lesson focused on the office fridge. Here are the rules we have for the fridge here at the Sean Adams University of Business Management Development Leadership. Let them serve as an example that you can follow in your own business.

1. All things placed in the fridge must be able to fit into the fridge. If you bring something that doesn’t fit in the fridge, don’t blame the fridge; blame yourself.

2. The fridge’s cooling powers only work on stuff inside the fridge. Placing items around the fridge will not only not cool them down, but can also be dangerous, because someone can trip on them.

3. Preference for fridge space will be given to food items over non-food items. For example, if employee A wants to put a sandwich in the fridge to keep it fresh for lunch, and employee B wants to put a shirt in the fridge because he doesn’t understand shirts, and there’s only space for one of them, that space will go to employee A.

4. If you claim something is food to get fridge space, you will be forced to eat that thing. So, if you’re looking for a cold place to store your thumbtacks, maybe try somewhere else. (If you need some tips on where, email me directly; I’ve got some ideas.)

5. Please keep the fridge clean. It is a space we share and therefore it must be treated with respect, just like the rest of the office. In fact, if you think about it, offices and refrigerators are pretty similar all around: they both have doors and compartments and things inside.

Those are our fridge rules. How about you guys? What are the fridge rules in your office?