Sean University: Take your Monitor Situation to the Merri-max!

by Sean Adams


 
A lot of people use just one monitor to work. But a lot of people also whip each other with snakes for fun. Okay, maybe not a lot of people percentage-wise. But if you looked at the total number of everyone in history who’d engaged in recreational snake-whipping, it’d be a pretty big number – easily 4 digits long. What I’m getting at is, just because people do something doesn’t mean it’s right.

Now, we can’t help if you’ve got snake-whippers in your office, but we can give some advice on how many monitors your employees need. A lot of businesses will try to optimize productivity by giving each of their employees two monitors: one for their email, and another for their work.

Well, we here at the Sean Adams University of Business Development Management Leadership say, why stop at two?! Why not add MORE MONITORS? Consider how productive your employees would be with one of the following setups:

3 Monitors: 1 monitor for email; 1 monitor for work; 1 monitor for another email address, so employees can email the address on the 1st monitor if they start getting depressed about not getting any emails.


4 Monitors: 1 monitor for email; 1 monitor for work; 1 monitor for slow-email-day email; 1 additional work monitor to be set up behind the employee in order to prevent tunnel vision.


5 Monitors:  1 monitor for email; 1 monitor for work; 1 monitor for slow-email-day email; 1 additional rear work monitor; 1 monitor displaying a webcam feed of the rear work monitor so employees aren’t always dropping everything they’re doing on the 1st work monitor to turn around and check if there’s work to do on the rear work monitor.


6 Monitors: 1 monitor for email; 1 monitor for work; 1 monitor for slow-email-day email; 1 additional rear work monitor; 1 monitor for rear work monitor webcam; 1 monitor for employees to lend out in case other employees misplace one of their 6 monitors.


7 Monitors: 1 monitor for email; 1 monitor for work; 1 monitor for slow-email-day email; 1 additional rear work monitor; 1 monitor for rear work monitor webcam; 1 lending monitor; 1 monitor permanently displaying a map of what each monitor does (including itself) so employees always know where to look.


8 Monitors: 1 monitor for email; 1 monitor for work; 1 monitor for slow-email-day email; 1 additional rear work monitor; 1 monitor for rear work monitor webcam; 1 lending monitor; 1 monitor map monitor; 1 monitor which, according to legend, possesses unspeakable power and can bring about a new era of knowledge and prosperity, but only if it is turned on “when the time is absolutely right.”

9 Monitors: 9 monitors is absolutely too many monitors.

There! With one of these wonderful setups, your employees should be more productive than ever! But the above uses aren’t set in stone. In the comments, please let me know how you would use each of your 8 monitors!