Sean University: The Heat Is On (in the natural way)!

by Sean Adams

Here at the Sean Adams University of Business Management Development Leadership, we specialize in preparing you for the world by giving you a hot degree. But that’s not just all! We also know a thing or two about living in a world of hot degrees, and not just the paper kind! The temperature kind too!

Degrees, in the temperature sense, represent how tall the red stuff (Mercury) gets inside a thermometer. Think about it this way: the hotter it gets, the closer Mercury wants to be to the ceiling fan. But hot weather isn’t all fun and growing. No, heat can be dangerous. That’s why you need to educate yourself, or better yet, let us educate yourself with these answers to frequently asked questions about heat!

Where does heat come from?

In the summer, heat comes from the sun. In the winter, heat comes from heaters. Despite their more straightforward name, the sun actually came out before heaters. Still, no matter how many times I propose it, no one seems to think it’s a good idea to rename the sun, “Heater Classic.”

How do I keep cool when it’s really hot outside?

See, your problem is that you’re “outside” when really your best bet is to stay inside. But even then it’s not that simple; some inside places are better for keeping cool than others. For example, inside an air-conditioned room? Good! Inside a pizza oven? Bad! Not sure how to tell the difference between good and bad. No problem! There’s a simple test! First, find a place that looks comfortable and leave some cookie dough there. Then, leave for about 15 minutes. If you come back and it’s still dough, you’re good. If you come back and it’s cookies, that spot is too hot.

Speaking of keeping stuff cool, my refrigerator is cold inside but hot out of the back. What’s up with that?

It’s a long standing fact of science that when you put food into something, it has to blow hot air out of its backside. The refrigerator is no exception. See, fridge! Just like I told you! YOU’RE NO BETTER THAN ME!

The other day my coworkers asked me to “go out to heat” with them. What does that mean?

I think you misunderstood them. Your coworkers were just asking you to go out to lunch.

Oh, so they weren’t asking me to go do drugs with them in the parking lot?


So I probably shouldn’t have responded, “No thanks, CRACK HEADS!”?

Yeah, that might not have been the best way to answer.

Well, I haven’t had lunch yet today. Would you like to go out to heat with me?

No, it's not that you can say "go out to heat" instead of... you know what? Never mind. You're just not hearing yourself.

So, those are most of the basic questions people have about heat, but maybe you’ve got another one you need answer. Well, go ahead. Post it in the comments and I’ll give it a look!