Sean University: The Name Game

by Sean Adams

Ever have big plans to make a good sandwich, and then you realize that you don’t have any cold cuts? Or bread? Or mayonnaise? Or plates? Or a table? Or arms or a mouth? Or a brain to even know what a sandwich even is? It sounds like it would be terrible, but don’t worry: if you don’t have a brain, you wouldn’t really be able to process what’s going on.

But that’s not the point. The point is, I’ve run the Sean Adams University of Business Management Development Leadership a lot like the proverbial meatless, brainless, armless guy making a sandwich. By which I mean, I’ve talked a lot about how to run your business, but I haven’t given much advice on how to choose what kind of business you should go into.

Well, luckily, it’s easy! All you need to do is look your birth certificate! That’s right: you can build an entire business around your last name. Here’s how:

Your last name is a business thing: Let’s say your name is Craig Coffee or John Yard or Sarah Filteredwatersupplier. Then, you’ve got it easy. You just need to do what your name has already chosen for you to do, like open a coffee shop, do yard work, or supply filtered water to places.

Your last name is two business things put together with a hyphen: Let’s say your mom was Annie Builder and your dad was Bill Travelagency, and when they got married, neither took the other’s name. Your last name would be Builder-Travelagency. In that case, you can choose to be a builder, a travel agent, or both at the same time! The sky is the limit (as long as the sky is too jobs tall)!

Your last name is two business things but all one word: If your last name is two business things put together without a space or a hyphen, you’ve gotta incorporate both into your business. That means Todd WafflehouseCPA would have to serve breakfast and do taxes. Sorry, Todd!

Your last name doesn’t have anything to do with a business: Not everyone’s ancestors were smart enough to choose a good career field as their last name. If this is the case with your name, you’ve got two options:

  • You change your last name to something that’s a business you want to go into. 
  • Or, if you don’t wanna upset your family, you can just say that, despite it’s spelling, your last name is pronounced like a business you want to go into. For example, “Oh, I know it looks like ‘Johnson,’ but it’s actually pronounced, ‘Clydesdale-Breeding Service.’”

Your last name is a series of numbers and mathematical symbols: I hate to be the one to have to tell you this, but you’re probably a robot.

That’s all we’ve got about last names and businesses. Now, tell us about the business you’re going to start based on your last name in the comments.