Team Corrugated: Woot Weads The Wire

by Scott Lydon

Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.

TEL AVIV, Israel (UPI) -- Israel has recently tested the David's Sling missile-defense system designed to knock out medium- and long-range rockets, officials said.

Weapons experts say it works well, but Biblical scholars say you probably don't want to trust it to be alone with your wife.

 

King David

 

LAS VEGAS (UPI) -- A Tennessee woman said she will be "marrying" a cardboard cutout of "Twilight" character Edward Cullen as her master's thesis for the University of Las Vegas.

After the ceremony, she will begin work on her PhD by cheating on the cutout with a poster of "Snow White and the Huntsman".

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. (UPI) -- A Florida man who died after wolfing down worms and cockroaches to win a contest choked to death, autopsy results released Monday showed.

Sponsors admit, the concept of the contest clearly had a few bugs.

 

Separating the worms

 

WASHINGTON (UPI) -- It's crunch time at the U.S. Supreme Court this week for proponents and opponents of same-sex marriage as the high court, like Oz, retreats behind the curtain to work its magic.

And, in a related story, a headline writer at UPI is pretty darn pleased with themselves today.

TBILISI, Georgia (UPI) -- A Georgian strongman said he will attempt a world record by trying to pull an 8-ton truck by cords attached to his ears.

The record: world's strongest truck pulling cords!

King David from chelmsfordblue and Separating the worms from Comrogues are used under a Creative Commons License.