Whatever: Woot Weads The Wire

by Scott Lydon

Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire.

GAYWOOD, England (UPI) -- A military bomb disposal team took care of some unfinished World War II business in eastern England after a boy found an old bomb, officials said.

But even as the VCR tape was being disposed of, some local critics continued to insist that Krull was just a victim of bad marketing.


POUGHKEEPSIE, N.Y. (UPI) -- "Whatever" remains the most annoying word or phrase in the English language, a poll indicates.

Thankfully, those who disagree with the poll have an easy response.

KALININGRAD, Russia (UPI) -- Officials at a Russian zoo said a young man who forced his way into the facility after closing time took his clothes off and threw them to the tigers.

The tigers contacted the zoo management immediately, saying that they had enough to do already and maid service was NOT part of the bargain.




WASHINGTON (UPI) -- Rival Santa-tracking services offered by NORAD and Google repeatedly pinpointed the jolly elf in two different places at once throughout Christmas Eve.

The two services laughed together in public, but in private, both teams are worried that Santa has upgraded his anti-radar technology to an unexpectedly high level.

LOS ANGELES (UPI) -- British filmmaker Ridley Scott is to direct "The Vatican," his first television pilot, the U.S. cable network Showtime announced.

Scott's movies are known as being dimly lit, hard to understand, and highly-profitable. Producers say this made him the natural choice for any show involving the Catholic Church.

Tiger from Phalinn is used under a Creative Commons License. All other images via Wikipedia and are here under fair use.