Wednesday, April 09

 

Wednesday, March 16

I Cleaned A Coyote Skull: Repulsive But True!

by Matthew Norman

 

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Hey, before we get started here, it is important that you understand this:

Some readers will find the content of the blog post to follow utterly revolting. Proceed with caution. And if you’re prone to revulsion, maybe don’t proceed at all.

In case the title didn’t tip you off, this is a first-person account of cleaning a coyote skull. To give you some idea what to expect, the first step was that I found a dead coyote by the side of the road. The last step was that I placed a handsome coyote skull on a shelf in my home. Below I will describe, explicitly, the sickening steps in between.

And there will be pictures. Horrible, horrible pictures. It will not be for people with weak stomachs.

Just so you know. We don’t want to see a bunch of comments from readers who blithely breezed past these admonitory paragraphs and then got all grossed out, OK? Consider this fair warning.

So if you’re still reading, I’m going to assume you know what you’re in for, and have braced yourself, and are not trying to eat beef stew while you look over this post. Alright?

Alright.

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Friday, January 14

One Safety Video You'll Never Forget

by Jason Toon

Workplace safety awareness has never been so excruciating. After squirming through this gruesome parade of impalements, crushed limbs, electrocutions, chemical accidents, and screams, all set to a tinny, atonal art-funk dirge, I'm thinking about filing a workers' comp claim for emotional distress. Seriously, this video is not for the squeamish. You've been warned.

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Tuesday, January 11

This is the Internet They Warned You About

by Randall Cleveland

You don't have to look very hard to find horror stories of the internet. "BEWARE!" tech experts scream, "WATCH OUT!" blogs warn, "OH GOD DON'T TALK TO ANYONE ON THERE THEY'RE ALL MURDERERS!" your friends exclaim. But c'mon, you're a grown-up. You're not going to enter your social security number on any URL that ends in ".ru," you're certainly not giving your address out to "ladeezman69_420_totally_not_a_murderer@yahoo.com," and that Nigerian prince is just going to have to find another business contact with which to be making his liberation of the people's monies from Africa. Besides, how bad could it be?

Uh, this bad.


We have no idea who that is or if it's even real. Oh god, please don't let it be real. Please let it be some weird viral marketing thing that's actually David Lynch trying to sell us chocolates or something.

If it IS real, it's a really forlorn-looking dude with a bad case of Japan-fetish making a birthday video for Yuka Kashino, one of the singers in Japanese pop band Perfume.

For her 22nd birthday.

Now all's fair in love and war between consenting adults or whatever, but we're willing to bet Johnny Combover is slightly older than 22 and pretty far outside the target demographic for a band like Perfume. But somehow he stumbled across their music ("while searching for all things Japan") and now he's fostering the most unnerving crush ever. It seems like anyone who's ever seen this video can probably be categorized as a "victim."

But parents, THIS is the real scourge of the internet. Not the faceless predators the media wants you to fret over. Not the identity thieves. Not the hackers. It's the lonely, balding old men who have nothing but time and attention to lavish on your children until they convince them that home sucks and they'd be so much happier living with him.

Now if you'll excuse us, we have to go take 14 showers.

 

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