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Jasper, someone's entered the compound!

Y'see, I heard 'em right here with my earballs with this here fancy Guardline Driveway Alarm. Better not be them nasty Revenuers! Or Sasquatcheses!

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The deals that you, the public, are telling us you hate the least. Updated every twenty.

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Roosevelt's New Deal saved our nation in the 1930s. Imagine what these deals can do for you!

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This stuff won't be here much longer. Sort of like the seasons. Except not as poetic.