Bottle Da Bomb Beyond Insanity Hot Sauce

Holy seventh circle in hell. This sauce... absolutely deserves its reputation on the show Hot Ones as the sauce that breaks anybody down, regardless of spice tolerance or affinity. I bought it purely just to experience it because it's hilarious how people on Hot Ones react to it — and I didn't underestimate it because I knew that if I did, I'd be in for a hellish experience, and mind you, I love spicy food, but this truly is -stupid- hot. Like comparable-to-Satan's-butthole-hot. If you like spicy food and are scoffing at this review and others thinking, "Oh pfft, it can't be THAT bad," oh it IS. This WILL humble you. I'm smirking just thinking about someone who goes into tasting this and underestimating it. If you're for some reason on here looking for a hot sauce that has flavor, this isn't it. This is literally like spraying pepper spray directly onto your tongue, and then squirming in pain exactly like the interview subjects in Hot Ones. The people on there are not exaggerating; I tasted a tiny DROP, literally a RAINDROP size drop less than the diameter of a DIME, on a tortilla chip, and even that small drop was tear-inducing, made my nose run, and pure P A I N sat on my tongue and the roof of my mouth for 15 minutes. It has an extremely faint Chipotle flavor, but not the delicious smokiness you typically get from Chipotle sauces. It's almost flavorless. It's like licking burned, unseasoned, charred meat, but just spicy and painful. I'm not exaggerating. Don't buy this for something tasty. ***If you're doing this just as a Hot Ones challenge, here's what you need to know: it does indeed have a half-life, as Sean Evans has said on the show. It will hurt pretty bad for like 15, 20 minutes tops and make it hard to speak or even think in that time period, after which it slowly starts to ramp down. If you're going to have something to drink, I didn't do milk, but I did try water, and the water honestly didn't help that much. Scientifically, it's not supposed to work to quell the sensation of pain because all it does is spread the capsaicin (pepper extract) farther into your mouth and esophagus. If water is all you have though, make it ICE COLD. Cold beverages are better than lukewarm, because it'll actually make it feel less hot in your mouth. I don't know if it would help others, but I had a Dunkin Donuts iced coffee next to me when I did the challenge, and it surprisingly worked way better to ease the pain than the water??? It might be because of the high amount of cream, sugar, and ice in it, but hey, if it worked for me, it might work for someone else! Just sip on it constantly in the recovery period, and it'll genuinely feel like the pain is going away. As for whether or not this will make your stomach hurt and run to the bathroom, that didn't happen to me and I was totally fine after about 30 minutes, but again, all I took is a tiny drop, so if you're going to coat a chicken wing with this stuff, yeah, you'll probably wanna make sure you're near a bathroom. I can't imagine it's good for your internal organs to have more than a drop of this at a time. It even says on the bottle: "Consume one drop at a time with extreme caution!" You better heed that warning wholeheartedly. They ain't jokin' around. Sean Evans, I tip my hat to you, sir, for being obligated to do this hundreds of times. I'm unsure how you still have tastebuds after eating whole wings covered in this blasphemous substance, but I applaud you for doing it and taking it like a champ. Hot Ones fan forever!