BioBidet BB-70 Non-Electric Bidet Attachment

My first experience with a Bidet happened decades ago, when I was in Spain on my first flight out of the country as a Second Lieutenant with the Air National Guard. There were two “toilets” in the bathroom, one seemed to flush the “wrong way”, and I had no clue why until the Lt. Colonel with whom I was sharing the room, explained it to me. Since that time, I’ve encountered Bidets in various countries throughout Europe when I used to travel, decades ago. I’m old. On occasion I used to think that using a Bidet seemed to be a sensible idea if one wanted to actually get clean after doing the “deed”, and it seemed to me to be useful for women as well…however the trend in that direction just didn’t make it to the USA, 99% of people that I asked had never heard of a Bidet. And then there was Mr. Whipple, and the never-ending quest for softer, and even scented, TP. Scented….really?...I never did understand that. Who was going to get close enough to sniff, except maybe the neighbor’s dog? A few years ago (a decade or two), I had some “back-end” surgery, the result of which had been a much more difficult time in getting “stuff” as clean as I felt I wanted "stuff" to be, a process which was especially challenging when not using “one’s” own bathroom facilities. However I never gave a Bidet a passing thought until recently, when I read about a TOTO toilet in an online news article. Wow, what a wonderful sounding invention…the Japanese truly are brilliant! "We" had scented TP, "They" had THE TOTO TOILET! I toyed around with the idea for a while, however as I mentioned, I am old, disabled, and I didn’t feel that the investment in a $4,000 crapper at this point in my life was worthwhile. I have recently been making all of my purchases online, including groceries, and while perusing items on Amazon I came across ads for Bidet attachments…I hadn’t been aware that anything like that existed. I read a few unfavorable reviews and then “blew” them off, as being nothing more than a useless gimmick.But my curiosity (and boredom) got the better of me. After reading some more, I decided to give it a try, and I chose the BioBidet Simplet BB-70 as being the one to most likely fit my needs. It wasn’t expensive and if it didn’t work out..well, no big deal. After I placed the order, I couldn’t wait for the Bidet to arrive…I was actually getting kind of excited, like a kid waiting for an X-Box at Christmas! That’s what happens when you get old. The day it arrived, I sat in my black leather reclining chair, and I very carefully opened the box and removed the contents. There really isn’t much there, so I read the (not-so-good) instructions and examined each piece. AND, I noticed that there was no O-ring on the nozzle, where it seemed to me that an O-ring should be. It was obvious that if I were to install the attachment and nozzle “as is”, water would spray everywhere... except where the Sun don’t shine. I looked everywhere in the box and plastic bags, but no O-ring. And, there was absolutely no mention of “the” O-ring anywhere in the instructions. I was sure that my instincts about a missing O-ring were correct, but I was having doubts…could this thing be so poorly designed? And then I looked at the picture on the box, and sure enough, there was an O-ring on the nozzle in the picture. And, by chance, I happened upon a U-tube installation video for this exact Bidet attachment, which clearly showed the O-ring. And then I got angry, my initial excitement had turned to profound disappointment, so I shot off an Email via Amazon to BioBidet…expressing my anger and disappointment, and asking them to send me a replacement O-ring. I sent the Email on Sunday afternoon. I received a reply very early Monday morning, apologizing for the inconvenience, and three days later I had a replacement nozzle and an extra O-ring in my mailbox! Their response couldn't have been more courteous and faster. By that time, I had already installed the Bidet attachment, and had tested it for leaks. The installation was easy, there were no leaks, and all that remained was to slide the nozzle in place. Simple....or so I thought! Oh yea…almost forgot. The day before the replacement O-ring arrived, I was standing next to my black reclining chair and I noticed “something” lying on the floor. Something, which looked very much like an O-ring…very much like the “missing” O-ring which, after a rather “stern” Email to BioBidet, was now on its way to my house, to arrive the following day! And even as I write this, I have absolutely no idea how the O-ring wound up, more than likely on the black chair as I opened the package, and then fell to the floor sometime later. The nozzle comes packaged in its own little zip-lock bag, and for sure, there was no O-ring on the nozzle, nor in the little bag when I opened the box. And at that point, I felt very guilty for having contacted BioBidet and having requested a replacement O-ring…but only until I tried to slide the nozzle in place. Sliding the nozzle into the Bidet attachment takes a half-second…but I noticed that the nozzle was about an 1/8th of an inch, or less, from sliding as far back as it was supposed to, before the nozzle hit the rim of the toilet which prevented the nozzle from seating properly. A bit of the O-ring was still visible, and it would have most likely leaked if I had left it that way. The “fix” for this should have been simple; loosen the bolts that hold the toilet seat to the toilet, slide the seat forward a tiny bit, and all would be well. Except that there wasn’t enough “wiggle” room in the bolt holes because of the design of my toilet seat. With a great deal of effort, I got the seat forward enough so that the nozzle was in far enough so that it was seated and the O-ring wasn’t exposed, however as I started to tighten the bolts I noticed that the front edge of the Bidet Attachment would “warp” or twist slightly, just enough to jam the nozzle against the back of the toilet and “push” the nozzle out so it wasn’t completely seated, and the O-ring was slightly visible. I still didn’t think this was good enough to prevent it from leaking, however it appeared to me that if I “stuck” something under the very front of the Bidet attachment on each side of the toilet, between the attachment and the toilet, it may lift the Bidet attachment slightly and prevent the attachment from warping or twisting, just enough so I could tighten the bolts without having the nozzle pushed out of it’s seat. And that’s exactly what I did. I took a piece of hard plastic less than an 1/8th of an inch thick, stuck a piece on each side of the toilet just under the front of the bidet, and tightened the bolts. The nozzle didn’t move. And then I tested it…wallah!...it worked like a charm, no leaks anywhere. I have been using the BioBidet every day now for about two weeks, there are no leaks, and I absolutely love it. The housing development where I currently live has awfully low water pressure, I think I can still “outdistance” the outdoor garden hose, but the Bidet pressure can, as one other reviewer mentioned, “launch you into the next room” if you aren’t careful. I now make sure that I eat three full meals a day because I can’t wait until I drink my cup of coffee the next morning. I shower..and my hair is “squeaky clean”. I use my electric toothbrush, and my teeth are “squeaky clean”. And then I have another cup of coffee…and soon thereafter, the “back-end” is also “squeaky clean”. Yippee- Skippee....and I start the day with a smile on my face, and a hop in my step (or, what these days passes for a hop…more like a limp), and I go sit out back and watch the birds have breakfast. It took a few days to get accustomed to using the Bidet, figuring out what pressure setting to use without losing a layer of skin, and how to “hootch” around to get all the nooks and crannies, but after a few days, its become as second nature as brushing my teeth. A nice addition though, would be some sort of "blow-dry" attachment, because you either have to stay seated for an hour to dry things off, or carefully use some TP…I say "carefully", otherwise you may wind up with paper mache, depending on the type of TP used,and could require another "rinse" with the Bidet. I suspect that the preponderance of Bidets and Bidet attachments in today’s market may be a result of globalization, technology and the changing demographics our country…many new citizens from abroad who were used to something other than “scented TP”. I know that “hindsight” (no pun intended) is always 20-20, however looking back over the past several decades of my life, all kidding aside, I can’t help but think how much more pleasant, and how much more relaxed, and how much less expensive, and how much more hassle and drama-free, my life might have been, if I only could have traded one, or both (both) of my ex-spouses for a TOTO toilet, or even a BioBidet attachment! I was debating between a 4-star and 5-star review, however I love this thing so much that I decided on 5-stars. Yes, I had to “rube-golberg” the thing to get it to work with my toilet seat, but there are probably dozens of toilet seats “out there”, and I know I’ve had seats which would have worked better than the seat that I have on my toilet currently. And yes, maybe there are some minor engineering or design improvements that could be made so the attachment is more rigid and doesn’t twist when the seat bolts are tightened, and yes, there is a booklet of instructions that could be vastly improved if they would just give a High School kid with some Mechanical Drawing and basic English skills, a hundred bucks to redo the instructions…but after having said all that, I still think this BioBidet is the cat’s meow, and worth every one of the 5-stars that I rated it! Is it perfect? No. But it only cost 30 bucks, and it does THE JOB!