Neutrogena Hydro Boost Whipped Body Balm

I'm so disappointed in this product. I have been trying so many lotions lately, to finally find the right thing for my skin because its beginning to age fairly suddenly (thanks 35). This is the worst one I've tried.. Even with my super dry skin, this is just sitting on top, it never soaks in. In the same order, I also tried petal fresh body butter which I was afraid would be too oily because its full of different natural oils and even though my skin is very dry, oils just sit on top and pool in my pores, its awful. But the ingredients were deliciously healthy, and so diverse, for the price, i had to try. That lotion melted into my skin beautifully even tho it starts so thick and creamy, its never sticky, absorbs so well and leaves a satiny smooth feeling within minutes. It makes the skin feel moisturized and look healthy but without obvious residue. It looks like it may not be as hydrating as possibly possible but its really good, it smells great and it absorbs really nicely. THIS IS THE TOTAL OPPOSITE. It smells okay, kinda fresh and pretty, kinda strong, the finish is a little funky... like old oil or something. Hours later I'm still gooey and slippery. It will not absorb. (even tho my skin was very dry) I feel disgustingly greasy. It pills up all over my hands... which I really hate... just little rolled up chunks of gooey paste balls. Yuck. I just want to wash it off so bad but I'm pretty sure I'll slip and die if I try to step into a wet shower. I'm really disappointed cuz I got this and the face version because every single review article that came up when I googled the best affordable lotions named Neutrogena's hydro series. It was supposed to be a phenomenal product for the price. The face one is pretty great but this one os a HARD PASS. As I said, I've tried many different kinds now from drugstore to natural to pricey and this is the absolute worst one. Now im wondering if all these published review pages are paid somehow. I wish I could get my money back. I can't wait to wash this off. Update... i thought maybe it felt so freaky when I was applying, wouldn't absorb and then pilled up cuz i had been trying other lotions recently and maybe there was still some residue on my skin... so I tried it again on my hands after a day of constant work and handwashing a thousand times... nope, same awful thing all the way thru. Also the original post was when I tried it all over right before bed. The next morning I was COVERED in greasy, oily hell, so slippery and weird and surprisingly wet after so many hours on sheets. Anywhere with creases like behind the knees was just grossly wet feeling. And more flat places like my back were covered in yucky gooey pilling, tiny balls of yucky. Just. NO. How on earth did so many people review this as good?