BISSELL CrossWave X7 Cordless Pet Pro Bundle

Bought this expensive piece of crap less than five months ago. My housecleaner (who, btw, has ZERO motivation to break or abuse the tools and cleaning products we pay for so she doesn't have to), used this approx. 10 times since receiving it. That's 2x/mo, five months... you get it. Went to fire it up last week, stops after like five seconds. Throwing a fan icon error. Ok, probably needs to be cleaned maybe. Did that, nope. Okay, look up the super easy to find "Product Support" for this super specific "BISSELL 3277 CrossWave X7 Cordless Pet Pro Titanium/Black/Copper Vacuum." VACUUM, the Amazon listing says. Anyway, check for clogs in the hose. Nope. Made sure it was fully charged. Yep. So, that's the extent of the online "support." Sigh. Gotta call the 800 number. Rather have a freaking root canal than call a company's 800 line, but I did it. Got hung up and disconnected the first time after 20 mins. Call back... wait another 10 mins. Finally get transferred to someone who can troubleshoot. After getting an attitude because I didn't want to provide my blood type, place of birth, childhood best friend and a DNA sample, the rep grudgingly agreed to "troubleshoot" the fan error icon. He proceeds to ask me to remove the brush roll, hold it by one finger (?) and "whip it." I'm not kidding. I'm not making this up. I repeatedly asked him what he meant by "whip it" and how EXACTLY I was supposed to do that and WHY I needed to hold the brush roll by one finger... at this point he asked me if my housecleaner used it to vacuum or used it with the water/cleaning solution. "Yes, both." I said. "Ah, it's not a vacuum," he said with more than a hint of triumph in his voice. "It's not a... vacuum?" I said. "No. It's a MULTI-SURFACE cleaner." "Ahhh, ok. But definitely not a 'vacuum' though, right?" "Yes, that is correct." "What surfaces is it supposed to be used on then?" "Linoleum, tile, hardwood floor, area rugs..." "Ok, so the same surfaces as a vacuum then, right?" "Yes, but it's a MULTI-SURFACE CLEANER." "Ohhh, okay. MULTI surfaces then," I say. "I get it. So what is it supposed to do on these surfaces?" "It cleans with the cleaning solution and vacuums up hair and dirt from --" "It VACUUMS up hair and dirt? But it's NOT a VACUUM???" "No, it's -" "Wait, lemme guess - it's a MULTI-SURFACE CLEANER, RIGHT? Even though the Amazon listing says, in plain English, 'BISSELL 3277 CrossWave X7 Cordless Pet Pro Titanium/Black/Copper VACUUM'" "Well, I'll make a note of that and reach out to our vendor about..." You might've guessed the exchange didn't get much better from there. Yes, folks. This was a real conversation. With a real Bissell Product Specialist. About a real vacuum. That wasn't really a vacuum, apparently. Or maybe it is. Or was. Didn't work long enough to 'really' tell. ... Never did find out what was wrong with that MULTI-SURFACE cleaner, though...