Wahl Manscaper® Reach Cordless Body and Beard Trimmer

I want to start by saying I've been wahl brand loyal for many years... So I bought the Wahl Manscaper expecting a rugged grooming tool for a rugged man. What I got was a dainty little torture device clearly designed for hairless twinks and prepubescent werewolves. First of all, this thing pulls on my beard like it's trying to pick a fight. Every pass feels like it’s attempting to extract my soul through my chin follicles. Not even my ex was this petty and painful. And the blades? So fine and delicate, I half expected them to come with a silk pillow and a bedtime story. This isn't a trimmer — it’s a whisk whisperer. It tickled my beard more than it cut it, unless by “cut” you mean yanking each hair out like it owes back rent. Unless you’re shaving the last wisps of fluff off a 14-year-old’s upper lip or trying to groom a kiwi fruit, this ain't it, chief. I need power. I need grit. I need a device that sounds like a small lawnmower and smells vaguely of testosterone. This Wahl? It sounded like an apologetic electric toothbrush and trimmed like one, too. Returning this glorified peach fuzz trimmer before it claims more of my dignity. Real beards need real tools. Not this spa-day toy.