How to Play World of Wootcrap

by Laura Duncan

All week we’ve been flagrantly promoting World of Wootcrap, an epic game of e-commerce adventure. No doubt you have questions about this decennial celebratory questiny, so read on and all loins will be girded:

What is a clan? How do I know which clan I am in?

Every Woot user has been arbitrarily separated into one of three teams, or, using the terminology employed by all the hottest new apps, “Clans.” You will work with your clan to earn XP and unlock levels in the game. To find out which clan you’re in, just add a post to this thread. You’ll see an image beside your avatar denoting your appointed clan - Betta Kois, Squarryls, or V’owls.

 Where do I find my clan’s thread?

 

If you post in a forum thread belonging to your opposing clans, you’ll lose XP and you’ll be cursed forever with irregular bowel movements. So don’t do it.

How do I play?

Watch the livestream starting at 11am Central, and follow along with the 10 levels on the home page. (They will open up throughout the day). 

You and your compulsory new friends will participate in a series of comical and slightly-degrading challenges in the 10 levels of The World of Wootcrap. The idea is to earn experience (cleverly abbreviated “XP”) which will unlock new levels in the game. Each level is packed with XP opportunities, hilarious content, and insane deals. What a thrill.

How do I earn XP?

Participate like crazy. Doesn’t matter if you’re just posting in a thread or competing in a Party Animal dance contest like the folks in this thread, you can earn XP for it.

What happens at the end of this whole big thing?

The three clans will attempt to defeat the fearsome George Takittei. It’s exactly as scary as it sounds.

That’s all pretty elaborate. So I win a car or something at the end, right?

Nope. Just Internet Credibility. And perhaps a forum badge.

Why isn't my level going up? I did the things! 

Be patient, the levels are not updated in real time. Give it an hour or so to update. And remember: None of this means anything so have fun and don't sweat the details. We'll probably (read: certainly) mess something up. 

Have fun and may the girdiest loins win!