Mine ears doth protest! These items are for naught the classical which I wast promised.

“No, I think you misunderstood. They’re not classical ear buds. They’re Altec Lansing CHP121 In-Ear Classic Earbuds.”

But forsooth, then. How shall I prosper in this world if they are not a liking which is mine?

“Wait, what? It’s like you’re talking half archaic and half stupid. Are you asking how you’ll live if you don’t have earbuds labeled classical? I really don’t understand.”

But yay! Thou dost hark upon what mine ears chase after!

“Are you trying to sound like Shakespeare? Because he makes more sense than this.”

Oh thou blistering swine, thou bitter hinge upon which I sway!

“Seriously, you get one more chance to speak normal. After that, I’m just going to start listing specs, whether or not you care to hear them.”

But why, my liege, dost thou stone me with such bitterness as pebbles to the wind?

“Alright, fine. I warned you. Here we go: these Altec Lansings are 15mm ported high-power neodymium earphones with rubber earpads.”

These sweet facts, they conspire against my very understanding!

“They also have a gold-plated 3.5mm connector and come with a protective winding case. They’re fine, basic ear buds if you’re looking for them.”

Dost thou speak to the sun with this nettled tongue? Dost thou greet the day with such idle, empty thoughts, while I stand here before thee for want of knowledge?

“Actually, I’m going to take a pair of these and pop them in right now, if you don’t mind.”

Oh, I have but a mind to render thou…

“And they’re in. Music is on. Sorry! Can’t hear you!"

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