Sure it seems pointless, but that’s just because we don’t have the right sales slogan.

How do you sell a million D-Link 10/100/1000 Gigabit Notebook Adapters? One leg at a time, that’s how! Or wait, that’s how I put my pants on in the morning. How I sell D-Links is by putting together sweet marketing slogans. LIKE THIS ONE:

“It’s like a tape deck adapter for your computer!”

Well yeah, I know most cars come with audio-ins for to hook up your MP3 player. That’s the point; most, if not all laptops made before… I don’t know, 2003 would have built-in Ethernet ports.

Oh, you’re right. We might not want to point that out. Well, what about this one:

“Impress all your friends with this futuristic gadget!”

And then a quiet voice says really quickly, ”...with just a tiny bit time traveling.” Which is true! If you traveled back to 1992 and started showing people this thing, they’d think you were some sort of wizard. That’s gotta count for something, right?

Okay fine, we’ll just go with this one then:

“If you don’t fill all your laptop’s slot things, its main board will get heart burn.”

How can you consider that lying? You don’t have a main board; you don’t know what it feels like to have all those empty slots! It could be torture on your heart!

No? You don’t like that? Well then, I give up.

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