Love isn't something you can keep in a bagless dust bin, no matter how strong the suction of your heart.

You'll be sitting on the front porch, watching the kids play in the yard and sipping a cool drink when The Man Who Broke Your Heart appears on the sidewalk across the street. Why today, of all days? Does he even remember it's your birthday? "Boys," you'll say as you stand up to get a better look. "Get in the house. It's time to do your chores."

The boys will whine about having just gotten into their swimsuits and how they wanted to play in the sprinkler, but you won't back down. "Inside. Now." They'll groan as they climb the steps. Once the youngest one has finally shuffled through door, The Man Who Broke Your Heart will make his approach.

He's just as handsome as you remember him, tall, confident, with cool blue eyes that still have that sparkle you found so enchanting the moment you first met. Were it not for the slight greying of his dark wavy hair and the Dyson DC35 Multi Floor Vacuum in his right hand, you might think he'd walked right out of your fondest memories and onto to your lawn. With each step, you'll recall moments of the life you shared together - the East Coast road trip, that Christmas you spent stranded in an airport, that special birthday scavenger hunt that ended with the two of you making love under the stars on your old high school football field. Every day together had a magic about it, a sparkle that even now draws you to him as he stands at the foot of your porch stairway.

But the sparkle wasn't enough. You wanted dependability. He wanted the freedom of being cordless. You wanted quick, flexible cleaning on all floor types, stairs, and upholstery whether it was in the studio apartment you shared or that beat-up old car that barely got you home from Rhode Island. He wanted a powerful digital motor that was up to three times faster than most conventional motors. You wanted root cyclone patented technology that didn't lose suction power at the drop of a hat. He wanted debris nozzles, crevice tools, and a fade-free 22.2V rechargeable lithium-ion battery.

In the end, you know that The Man Who Broke Your Heart did the right thing by leaving you. That didn't make it hurt any less.

He'll look up at you and smile. You'll smile back. He'll reach up and hand you the Dyson DC35 Multi Floor Vacuum from the bottom of the stairs. You'll take it. In that moment, everything you've ever wanted to say to each other will pass between you wordlessly in a mere 4.85 pound package. Then, The Man Who Broke Your Heart will nod a silent "Happy Birthday" to you, turn, and leave.

You'll hear the door squeak as it opens behind you. A tiny voice will ask, "Mommy? Who was that guy?"

As you watch The Man Who Broke Your Heart walk out of your life for the last time, you'll say, "Just an old friend, buddy. Just an old friend."

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