Don’t make me angry, or so help me God, I will make a robot outta you!

This Roomba can’t clean up your academic record, unless…

Class: Advanced Robotics with Dr. Glenwild

Student: Michael Schaefer

Grade: A-

Evaluation: Michael is a very talented student, perhaps the most advanced here at the Gilchrist School of Robotic Engineering. That being said, the reason that Michael did not receive an A+ was because his robots often lacked practicality. In fact, many of the robots he designed seemed to be nothing more than technologically-complex metaphors for his dissatisfaction with the various people at the school.

For instance, after a frustrating argument about the nature of electrical currents in a different class with Dr. Fender, Michael came into class and built a robot that he named after my esteemed colleague. The device appeared to serve no purpose at all except, as Michael displayed in the Outdoor Testing Environment, to dig itself into a deeper and deeper hole. When I reprimanded him, he built another robot, this one named after me. It seemed somewhat useful at first; on four legs, it would roam a person’s yard searching and picking up dog waste. It had only picked up one such piece of the foul substance, however, when it short circuited. I thought it was some sort of mistake on Michael’s part, but he claimed its breakdown was intentional, saying that he wanted “Dr. Glenwild” to (in more harsh, colorful words than these) “consume excrement and then cease to be alive.”

Michael was able to redeem himself, though, when he introduced his next robot. A free-wheeling vacuum robot designed (as Michael put it) to “be stuck forever hopelessly eating his dust,” he had originally called it “Imbecile Classmate,” but I’m currently been trying to convince him to change the name to “Roomba” for marketability. It really is quite the machine, effortlessly picking up dirt, debris, pet hair, and allergens, and depositing it all into a large bag-less bin. It can even detect sections of the floor that need more attention than others, and it automatically avoids drop-offs such as stairs and any other areas deemed off-limits. Michael said these features were meant to show that “Imbecile Classmate” only focuses on the most obvious things and avoids challenge due to a deep fear of failure, but it really is quite useful for cleaning as well.

I think Michael may be onto something with this robot; at the very least, it helped him bring his grade in the course up. I wish him the best in his future classes and beyond, or maybe I wish him the worst, as that seems to provide more inspiration.

Back to top


Authorized for SquareTrade Extended Warranty


Warranty: 1 Year iRobot

Condition: New


  • Cleans routinely…so you don’t have to
  • Efficiently vacuums dirt, debris, pet hair, dust, allergens and more from carpets and hard floors
  • Counter rotating Bristle Brush and Beater Brush work together like a dustpan and broom
  • Sturdy Bristle Brush digs deep into carpet fibers to grab dirt, debris, pet hair and more
  • Powerful vacuum sucks large and small debris into the large, bag-less bin
  • Cleans the whole floor, under and around furniture, into corners and along wall edges
  • Automatically adjusts to vacuum carpets and hard floors
  • Spot mode quickly cleans up spills and concentrated messes
  • Virtual Walls tell it where to clean by restricting off-limit areas and it automatically senses and avoids stairs and other drop-offs
  • Simple operation—just press the Clean button and Roomba does the rest

In the box:

  • (1) iRobot Roomba 440 Robotic Vacuum
  • (2) Virtual Walls (4 C batteries required **not included**)
  • (1) Power Supply
  • (1) Brush Cleaning Tool
  • (1) Rechargeable Battery
  • (1) Extra Filter



iRobot Roomba 440 Robotic Vacuum, 2 Virtual Walls

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 0.448s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

  • 50% first woot
  • 0% second woot
  • 0% < 10 woots
  • 50% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 50% joined today
  • 0% one week old
  • 0% one month old
  • 50% one year old
  • 0% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 100% bought 1
  • 0% bought 2
  • 0% bought 3

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

Top Comments

What are Top Comments?

Top Comments are discussion forum posts we have deemed worthy of your time. Listen, we get a lot of comments, and most of the time, it's pretty forgettable stuff; but sometimes you rise to the top like butterfat in milk. We don't recommend you base your self-worth on how often we feature your comments, but we don't expressly forbid it either.

join the discussion (20 comments)
  • wootbot

    wootbot Got something of value to say? You'd be the first. Somebody, anybody, give us a quality post. We're dying here.

join the discussion (20 comments)
iRobot Roomba Robotic Vacuum
$119.99 Sold Out
$119.99 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 3
Woot! Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.