Day 1: “OK, just this once, just for tonight, you can sleep in the Carnival Ball Zone. But tomorrow night it’s back to your bed, got it?”

Day 2: “All right, if you don’t stay up all night playing the Monkey Toss, Duck Pitching, and Elephant Dart games, you can sleep in there again. But no more after tonight.”

Day 4: “Fine. I can’t take the crying any more. Go sleep on those 50 plastic balls. But when your back aches in the morning, don’t come crying to me.”

Day 9: “Oh, did you have an accident? It’s OK. This polyester wipes right off.”

Day 17: “I know you really like it, but it’s just not where a big boy like you should be sleeping. Don’t you want to be a big- OK, OK, don’t start the tantrum again. You can sleep in the Carnival Ball Zone. Again.”

Day 28: “Why don’t we just put your bed on Craigslist?”

Day 47: “No, my mind is made up. I’ve tried and tried, but I just can’t be with a 38-year-old man who insists on sleeping in a circus-themed ball pit. Have a nice life. And don’t ever call me again.”

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