Viktor 375-B: See, there’s the scar, right there behind my ear.

Bobb M-99-9: Whoa. Man.

Laara V77-9L: Did it hurt?

Viktor 375-B: Yeah, it hurt like hell. Still does. But it’s not like I had a choice, right? The Directorate has spoken. So when are you guys getting yours done?

Bobb M-99-9: Got an appointment at the Biodrome next Jebsday morning.

Laara V77-9L: Actually, you know, I was thinking maybe I wouldn’t get one.

Viktor 375-B: What? But you heard the decree.

Bobb M-99-9: The Directorate says all citizens must have FM radios implanted into their skulls, to receive emergency alerts in the event of alien attack. It’s a matter of planetary security.

Laara V77-9L: Yeah, I know. But see, I’ve got this Lobeman Earpiece FM Radio that works just as well. It clamps on tight, the battery lasts 20 hours, the reception is great – and it doesn’t require a Directorate surgeon to go digging around inside my skull. I mean, think about it: do you have any idea what those guys really do to you while you’re laying there unconscious?

Bobb M-99-9: I guess I never thought about it like that.

Laara V77-9L: Yeah, I mean, they could plant a tracking transmitter in there, or a thought-modification module, or anything they want, really.

Viktor 375-B: Huh. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. I wonder if it’s too late to have mine remo- I mean, that’s subversive talk! Willingly disobeying an order of the state is a capital offense! I hereby arrest you in the name of the Directorate! Place your hands over your – (BLAM!)

Bobb M-99-9: Nice shot, Laara! That was a close one. Shame about Viktor, though. I’d always considered him a friend.

Laara V77-9L: The Viktor we knew was gone as soon as he underwent their procedure. Our only friends now are our guns and our Lobeman Earpiece FM Radios.

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