GREETING BE UPON YOU, SIR. MY NAME IS SENATOR JORGE BOOSH, ESQ, MD, FROM THE COUNTRY OF ZIMBABWE. I WOULD LIKE TO DISCUSS WITH YOU A MOST URGENT MATTER.

A RECENT ACCIDENT IN OUR SPACE PROGRAM HAS RESULTED IN THE DEATH OF A GREAT MAN; A MAN WHO HAD FOUR TIMES AS MANY CORN CHIPS AS ANY OTHER MAN ALIVE. AS HE HAD NO OTHER HEIRS, HE CHOSE TO NAME YOU AS HIS BENEFICIARY. MAYBE HE LIKED YOUR NAME OR SOMETHING, NO ONE REALLY ASKED. ALL WE KNOW IS THAT WE HAVE A FEW BILLION CORN CHIPS AND NO WAY TO MOVE THEM ACROSS THE ATLANTIC OCEAN.

THEREFORE, I AM ASKING YOU, PLEASE DEIGN TO WORK WITH ME ON THIS. PLEASE PURCHASE THREE EXCALIBUR SNACK FLOATS AND HAVE YOUR FRIENDS TO DO THE SAME. THESE EXCALIBUR SNACK FLOATS ARE DESIGNED TO HOLD YOUR DRINKS AND SNACKS IN THE WATER, AND CAN BE CONTROLLED REMOTELY, MAKING IT THE IDEAL DEVICE TO TRANSPORT FOOD OR BEVERAGES AROUND THE POOL, OR, IN THIS PARTICULAR CASE, THE ENTIRE ATLANTIC OCEAN.

AS YOU LIKELY KNOW, CORN CHIPS WILL GO STALE IF NOT PROPERLY SECURED, SO TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE. PLEASE CONTACT WE WHEN YOU HAVE TAKEN OWNERSHIP OF THE EXCALIBUR SNACK FLOATS SO WE CAN BEGIN THE PROCESS OF MOVING THE CORN CHIPS TO YOUR HOME. IN EXCHANGE FOR YOUR SERVICES, I WILL BE HAPPY TO ALLOW YOU TO KEEP 10% OF THE CORN CHIPS AND 30% OF ANY SALSA WE DISCOVER DURING THE VOYAGE. PLEASE TO BE IN TOUCH AS SOON AS YOU CAN. THANK YOU IN ADVANCE.

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