Cats, kittens, crap-chasers, lend me those jazz-holes 'cause I'm about to break down the shakedown. Check this riff: you lay a dollar or three us-ways, and we slide you the flotsamiest jetsam we can spatula off the warehouse floor, dig? Suchlike is the crap trip on the random tip and I do mean random and I double-do mean crap, baby. Ancient robots, cardboard saxophones, carrying cases for your carrying cases, and the whole mess of it in smithereens. Our neato credo runs "Promise nothing and deliver less" and we live up to that jive to and fro. You knock us the gravy, we mash you the garbage. You'd score more pow for your penny if you flipped Ol' Abe into the nearest latrine and made a wish.

HEY CRAP-FOR-BRAINS, SEE IF YOU CAN WRAP YOUR POINTY LITTLE HEAD AROUND THIS:

1. WHEN YOU ORDER THIS ITEM, YOU'LL GET ONE BAG WITH (up to) THREE CRAPS IN IT.

2. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR SELECTING THE QUANTITY THREE WHEN YOU ORDER.

3. YOU WILL WASTE FREIGHT IF YOU ORDER FEWER THAN THREE.

In return for your money, you'll get some kind of bag and some quantity of crap. We promise nothing more than that. You should expect even less.

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