These are shirts, not shoes.

This polo shirt is made by Reebok, which reminds me of Reebok Pumps. Do you guys remember Reebok Pumps? Of course you do. These things. Does anyone know if these things really worked? Like was there a real advantage to pushing that little basketball thing? Would it actually do anything? And by the way, who's idea was it to make the slogan, "Pump up, and air out"? Air out is what you do to a room after somebody farts.

But at least there was still the pump button. It wasn't like those Nike Shox. Those were the worst. I thought they were going to be like shoes with a built in trampoline, but no. Those shocks hardly had any give at all. Maybe that's why they spelled it with an x, because they weren't real shocks.

Of course, when I was a kid, the shoes I wanted the most were the Nickelodeon Moon Shoes. Although, watching the commercial now, they don't look all that impressive. Those kids aren't really jumping that high at all. Man, what a rip-off those things must've been.

My point: it's good that we're selling shirts and not shoes, because shoes sure are complicated.

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