Sounds pretty cool, doesn’t it? Yeah, you know it does.

If you were looking for a martial arts school and you went inside and the head barista said he had trained with “Master Iron”, well, you’d probably be impressed. And that’s why a Rowenta Pro Master Iron is going to… no, barista. It’s a term they use for anyone qualified to teach a martial art. But that doesn’t matter, because the Rowenta Pro Master Iron is… no, we are right. Listen, this is common knowledge around here. A tenth level barista can fight like ten guys, one at a time or all together.

Okay, well, that’s a fair point, anybody can fight ten guys, but not everbody can win, and that’s what a barista can do. You don’t get that title just by asking, you know. If I walked in with a Rowenta Pro Master Iron and was all “hey, my iron’s ergonomically designed and can turn itself off automatically” they’d get ten guys and kick my butt out the rojo door. No, rojo. It means house. Yes, it DOES! Really, your ignorance of the Portuguese fighting culture is staggering.

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