Hand over the popsicles, kiddies, or I’ll end your little pool party real quick.

So you kids like red popsicles, eh? Well, me and Murray here, we like red popsicles, too. We like ‘em A LOT, you get me? And when we see a bunch of children splashin’ around in a kiddie pool with their red popsicles just meltin’ away in the summer sun, we get a little worried that those red popsicles are being neglected. After all, there are people in the world that don’t have yummy red popsicles like those. People like me and Murray here.

Now look here, see. I’m going to tell youse guys how this is gonna go down, understand? My previously mentioned associate Murray has in his hands an entire 16-pack of ShawWow! towels, eight large ones and eight mini-sized. That’s right, just like the ones you’ve seen on TV. Among their various features, such as being machine washable, bleachable, and soft enough to keep from scratching any surface, the side of the box these came in told me that they hold 12 times their weight in liquid. So it got me and Murray thinkin’ about what might happen if someone dropped all these super absorbent towels into a kiddie pool where children were playing. They’d probably soak up a bunch of the water they’ve got in there. It’d probably end their summertime fun in a hurry, don’t you think? I bet it would if those kids weren’t smart enough to give us their delicious popsicles.

Yeah, that’s it. Hand ‘em over. I’m glad we could come to an agreement. Whoa, hey, what the heck is that? Is that a green one? Bah, you can keep that one. Me and Murray’s got standards, you know.

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