What’s the best way to wake up? The smell of fresh coffee. What’s the best way to force you out of bed? A talking robot.

At 6:15 AM, it’s easy to roll over and ignore the smell of delicious coffee. But it’s not so easy to ignore a screaming Dalek in the kitchen. That’s the concept behind the Speak & Brew Voice Operated 10 Cup Coffee Maker.

Not only is it easy to program, thanks to the special voice command option that really listens to what you say, it also can talk back to you, confirming your options. So when you say “I’d like my coffee to start at 6:13 tomorrow.” the Speak & Brew Voice Operated 10 Cup Coffee Maker will respond “SIX. THIRT. EEN.” and you’ll be ready to go.

It is very sad that the makers of the Speak & Brew Voice Operated 10 Cup Coffee Maker didn’t build some kind of special chatterbox feature in this thing, where your coffee machine would annoy you until you came in and picked up the coffee. But you’re on the Internet, right? You’re part of the generation who cried at Wall-E and worried about the Mars Rover. You understand that robots have feelings, even if they hide them under programs and commands. How will you be able to sleep knowing the Speak & Brew Voice Operated 10 Cup Coffee Maker did exactly what you asked of it and is waiting for your approval and love? How will you be able to roll over and ignore the voice that so happily said “SIX. THIRT. EEN.” when you rudely demanded it wake up before you did? What kind of a person would you be, to let the fresh warm coffee get cold as the Speak & Brew Voice Operated 10 Cup Coffee Maker tries its very best to make you happy the only way it ever possibly could? ARE YOU THE SORT OF MONSTER WHO COULD LET A ROBOT DIE IN SADNESS?????

And that’s how the Speak & Brew Voice Operated 10 Cup Coffee Maker is gonna getcha. It’s the world’s first passive-aggressive coffee maker. Try one today!

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