Buy this watch or risk being alone for the rest of your life.

It’ll happen, I’m telling you. You’ll be out somewhere, minding your own business without a care in the world when suddenly you’ll hear the most magical voice ever to dance across your eardrums. “Excuse me,” it chimes, “but do you have the time?”

It’s them. The Person You’ve Been Waiting For All Your Life has just asked you a very simple question in hopes of breaking the ice and getting to know you better. “SURE!” you’ll bleat out somewhat awkwardly. “Lemme just pull my phone out of my fancy dang Mr. Cool Dude smart phone from my…” Oh crap. It’s not in your pocket, is it? Did you leave it in the car? You had it with you at the Laundromat earlier, but did you remember to bring it with you too…

The glorious light of joy that shines from their perfect smile begins to fade. “You know what, it’s okay. I’ll just ask someone else.”

Out of desperation, you’ll scream out. “NO! NO, I’m sure my phone is here somewhere. I just… I mean…” Frantically, you tear at your pants and spin as you search the ground for the only thing you own that tells time. You begin to sweat. Your breath quickens. Your heart pounds in your chest as the one person that will ever understand you begins to tap their foot impatiently.

If you’d only bought a real, honest-to-goodness watch! A TruGlo Switchback Watch would’ve had you chatting away with the object of your affection instantly after merely glancing at your wrist and into its multi-jeweled precision Swiss quartz movement and Tri-Color Swiss Tritium illumination. You could’ve even told them what day it was up to 50m under water!

But no, you had to be one of those techie-elitist jerks who’s too awesome to wear a watch. Nice job, buddy. I hope that comforts you in the cold silence of night, remembering how you watched the one person who could fill your heart with unimaginable love and happiness asks some other goon for the time and leave with them. Idiot.

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