At one point in human history, the hammock was new. Seriously. The hammock was the killer app.

As you plan to lounge about in the warm weather of late Spring, please keep in mind that what you call a weekend past-time, other cultures once called "furniture." That's right, the hammock isn't something that existed before humans like rocks or caves or the alien pyramids. The hammock was something humans developed AFTER they had some civilization around them. The hammock protected us from scorpions and poison ants and tiny land wizards and all the things that like to annoy people that sleep on the ground. The hammock was a survival technique, not a novelty item!

We bring that up because it's important you show your hammock some respect. Don't just hang it up and say "Hey, we got a hammock out back, lolz!" and then never use it. IF YOU BUY THIS HAMMOCK YOU USE THIS HAMMOCK! You get out there and relax and enjoy yourself! How would you feel if you caught some future-person taking something YOU created for granted? Would it feel good? Huh? Or would you be upset that ol' high-and-mighty future-person was such a self-centered jerk?

Don't let the sacrifices of your ancestors be for nothing. Please. Use this hammock as it was meant to be used. Constantly and always. Thank you in advance from the past.

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