That’s it, we’re done. Thanks for coming.

Well, we all did it again. Another woot-off over. Remember all the happy moments we shared? How Jason got up on the counter and did a kegstand? When Matthew threw a brick at Dave and everyone laughed? When Scott decided to drink all the wine by himself to help end the detour, and then he had to go get his stomach pumped? Or how about when superspryte said that thing about Japan? These are the days we’ll treasure when we’re old.

If you want to remember the special moments of this woot-off, buy a set of Woot-Off Lights with a Screaming Monkey. This special combo is your way of saying “Hey, I have a monkey and some lights! I was there!” And one day, that might be important. Some of you threw out your Star Wars figures too early, after all. You could have retired on that. Don’t make that mistake twice with the Desert Camo monkey.

Are you sitting there asking yourself “Will these ever come back again?” That way lies madness. Instead, just tell yourself that the Woot-Off Lights with Screaming Monkey are almost gone, only seconds left, and if you don’t get them now you’ll regret it. And then get them. That’s the sort of thinking that made this country great. And helps us cover our staff insurance policies. Stomach pumping is really sort of expensive these days. Even in Japan.

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