Enough with the summer fun, already. Time to get these kids off my lawn and back behind a desk where they belong.

Three months of vacation? Some folks have to work five years before they even got two weeks of time off, you little weasels, and when they take that time off they have to pack every bit of fun they’re going to have for a whole year into them. You’re nearly two-thirds of the way through and what have you done with yourselves? Nothing. You lounged around. You complained about it being too hot to go swimming. You huffed and sighed wishing you had something to do.

Well okay, kids. I’ve got an idea. How about we just ship you all right back to school? Right now, in fact! You were only going to waste that last month of vacation anyway. Oh! Better idea: We’ll give that month to your parents. That’s it! YOU can be the ones that are obligated to go somewhere every day while your folks enjoy some time off of their jobs AND your whining!

And when you get home at night after a hard day of trying to retain facts you’ll never use in the real world, you can hear all about your parents' day actually enjoying all the things that you take for granted. They’d love to spend a week at the pool! They’d think playing outside for a week was fun! They wouldn’t sigh and type “BORED BORED BORED” into their Facebook status with a HP Pavilion Triple-Core 17.3” Laptop with Blu-ray. They’d type “OMG I can’t believe I get to stay home and enjoy Blu-ray movies on this 17.3-inch high-definition HP BrightView LED widescreen display! But first, I need to video chat with my friends via the HP TrueVision Webcam while listening to my MP3s through the Beats Audio speakers with Triple Bass Reflex Subwoofer!” They’d appreciate the 5-in-1 digital media card reader, Windows 7 Home Premium operating system, 2.2GHz AMD processor and 640GB hard drive. You? Well, unless Lady Gaga has it strapped to her face this week, it really doesn’t interest you, does it?

Of course, you could just use these last few weeks of your vacation and do something fun. You remember fun, right? It’s what your parents use to have before parental responsibility came along.

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