Love would have eaten much better at the Twelfth Night party if the music had been coming from Acoustic Research 5.1 USB Headphones.

MOTHER: Well, my child, now that the play you’ve seenest
Surely can you tell me what it meanest.

SEBASTIAN: Dumb it was mostly, I’m glad it is done
And that I am returned now to the car.

MOTHER: Oh, but surely, my most dear Sebastian,
you did quite enjoy that part where they thought
that the one shipwrecked woman was really
the man that the lady most loved?

SEBASTIAN: Nnn-ope.

MOTHER: I have half a mind to take from you now
those Acoustic Research headphones of which
you have grown to be most fond.

SEBASTIAN: What? Mom, no!
I need them to hear the 5.1 sound
coming through my USB port when I
do my raids online!

MOTHER: Better listen then;
For I am sick of how you will not try
that golden world which waits for your discov’ry
choosing instead to remain most folded
like your headphones, when buried deep inside
the included travel case. And I say
now, right to you, my thrice-beloved child,
that if you are unable to assume
a shape that is more pleasing to my eye
I will descend upon you, bodily,
and in the night abscond you to a ship
which I will have previously prepared
for such a purpose, and you will be then
taken far away, and out.

SEBASTIAN: Mom, you don’t-

MOTHER: Not one more word, young man!
I tire, truly, of the poorly thought
melodies which spill forth from your system
Though the three ear cup drivers make them sound
well-met, still, disharmoniously they
do battle with my mother’s nature. I
say to you, if you return again from
class with grades unto a sow’s behind, my
hand shall find your ear, and from it I shall
pluck your Acoustic Research USB
5.1 Headphones. Am I quite clear to
this, my child?

SEBASTIAN: I want to go live with Dad.

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