There are times when you’d be happy with even half a speaker.

Maybe you’re wanting to eavesdrop. Maybe your headphones are too small and hurt the top of your head. Maybe your ears are sore. There are plenty of reasons why you might enjoy Altec Lansing iM207 Orbit-MP3 Speakers. It’s designed to work by itself, to fill the room with sound, so you’re not going to get true stereo, but do you even know what that is? Because if you’re not spending six hours every night recalibrating your special listening room, you’re probably never even going to miss it. And besides, if you really were that much a perfectionist, you wouldn’t be using an iPod. You’d be hauling around a crate of vinyl and a turntable. If you want perfect, go work a third job to pay for it. Us, we’d rather have some free time and something to kick out the jams while everyone’s partying. And for that, and occasions like that, we’re lookin’ at the Altec Lansing iM207 Orbit-MP3 Speakers. And if you don’t like it, go have fun with your

.

“This is of no consequence to my sonic ray.”

“RAAAAAAAA”

“Just saying, I guess. You can just keep ignoring me if you want. I don’t mind. Everybody does.”

“Vlah. No, the crazy voman vith too much body hair. she is correct. It is not often the Master of Sin is humbled before the mere passions of an animal, but today, he admits his defeat. For perhaps it is his focus on proving himself to his vather… his vather who vas never there for him… except for that time vather gave him a carton of cigarettes… vather… vather… It is because of you the Most Bloodthirsty speaks of himself in third person all the time…”

“Wow, gnarly. You humans totally made Batman cry.”

“No, your majesty. It was not us. It was them. The adults who don’t understand, or have forgotten what it meant to be a monster. Perhaps I should be assembling a sonic ray made from the power of the Altec Lansing iM207 Orbit-MP3 Speakers to fight against them… and not against us.”

“RAAAAAAAA”

“Tubular.”

“I’m, I guess, sorry too. I have self control issues, or something, maybe.”

“Ve… ve perhaps learned something today. The King of Terror extends his protection to you all. Even you, strange Princess from another world. For you, like all of us, understand what it is like to rule, yet be feared. Come, let us write this hideous required essay… as one.”

Dear Mr. Van Helsing,

We accept that fact that you consider us outcast monsters because of whatever you think we did wrong. But we think you’re crazy to say that the Altec Lansing iM207 Orbit-MP3 Speakers are a worthless item. You see us as you want to see us: in the simplest terms and as a series of cliches. But, because of you, we found out that each one of us is a mad scientist, a mummy, a werewolf, an alien, and a vampire. And we thank you for showing us that during our most formative years.

Does that answer your question?

Sincerely,

The Breakfast Club

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