Future-Proof
Yeah, money’s a little tight right now, but this is IMPORTANT. We’re talking 8GB of media storage capacity and tens of thousands of handy apps right in your pocket! What’s it going to take to explain to your significant other that Genius Mixes and a 3.5-inch widescreen multi-touch display with 480-by-320-pixel resolution are more important than silly stuff like rent or food?
Maybe a message from The Future might help.
Step 1 – Creative Writing
Imagine that you’re the last survivor of an Earth torn apart by some apocalyptic event. Robots, zombies, aliens, global apathy, whatever. Describe the suffering of humanity in as much gory detail as possible. Somewhere between the paragraph concerning the love between you and your spouse staying strong in the face of extinction and the one where he or she dies in your arms, make sure to note how the two of you met a scientist that could have saved the entire world if you had only had an Apple 8GB iPod Touch for some cockamamie reason. The reason won’t matter so much as the last few lines in which you tell your spouse that you hope that a better future awaits everyone.
Step 2 – Authenticity
You can’t just hand over the letter the way it is. You’ll need a little extra production value to pull this off. Try crumpling and tearing the paper. Aging the letter in tea could have a nice effect. You might try pricking a finger and getting a little blood on it, too. Not only will that drive home that the future is a horrible place, but it’ll add a little legitimacy to the letter. After all, who’d be crazy enough to smear their own blood on a piece of paper for an iPod Touch?
Next, find a cylindrical metal container. Place the letter inside with a little dry ice so that you get that nice “from the future” look when it’s opened.
Finally, bury it in the backyard. That way, when you tell your spouse your going outside to dig some holes later that day, they won’t get suspicious.
Step 3 – Jackpot
Call out to your husband or wife when you “uncover” the capsule. Don’t be the one to open it. Let them do it. Just watch knowingly as they read about the terrible things you had to go through to get that message “back to the past”. One of two things will happen. Either they’ll throw their arms around you and whisper “Yes, honey. Yes, you can have an Apple 8GB iPod Touch.” in your ear as they sob gently, OR they’ll be so angry that you took so much time out of your household chores to put this ruse together that they’ll throw their hands up and shout “FINE! JUST BUY ONE ALREADY! BUY THREE, FOR ALL I CARE! THE BABY CAN JUST EAT RAMEN FOR THE NEXT MONTH!” Either way, SCORE!
Features
Warranty: 90 Day Woot Limited Warranty
Features:
- 8GB capacity for 1750 songs, 10,000 iPod viewable photos or 10 hours of video
- Up to 30 hours of music playback or 6 hours of video playback when fully charged
- 3.5-inch widescreen multi-touch display with 480-by-320-pixel resolution
- Immerse yourself in games made for iPod touch. Shop the App Store to add new ones with just a few taps
- Built-in speaker
- Surf the web. Get rich HTML email — including attachments — that looks the same as it does on your computer
- Pioneering technology and a brilliant 3.5-inch screen bring an amazing experience to your music, movies, and more
- Genius Mixes, acts as your personal DJ, searching your iTunes library to find songs that go great together, then organizing them into mixes you’ll love. All automatically
Specifications:
- Size and Weight: 4.3×2.4×0.33 inches, 4.05 ounces
- Display: 3.5-inch (diagonal) widescreen Multi-Touch display, 480-by-320-pixel resolution at 163 pixels per inch
- Battery Type: Built-in rechargeable lithium ion battery
- Battery Life: Up to 30 hours of music playback; up to 6 hours of video playback
- Ports: Dock connector, stereo mini-jack
- Connectivity: USB through dock connector; component and composite video through dock connector (with AV cables, sold separately); audio through headphone jack
- Wireless Data: Wi-Fi (802.11b/g), Nike + iPod support built in, Maps location-based service, Bluetooth 2.1 + EDR
- Audio Frequency Response: 20Hz to 20,000Hz
- Audio Formats Supported: AAC (16 to 320 Kbps), Protected AAC (from iTunes Store), MP3 (16 to 320 Kbps), MP3 VBR, Audible (formats 2, 3, and 4), Apple Lossless, WAV, and AIFF
- Photo Support: Syncs iPod-viewable photos in JPEG, BMP, GIF, TIFF, PSD (Mac only), and PNG formats
- TV Out Support: 480p and 576p
- Video Support: H.264 video, up to 1.5 Mbps, 640 by 480 pixels, 30 frames per second, Low-Complexity version of the H.264 Baseline Profile with AAC-LC audio up to 160 Kbps, 48kHz, stereo audio in .m4v, .mp4, and .mov file formats; H.264 video, up to 2.5 Mbps, 640 by 480 pixels, 30 frames per second, Baseline Profile up to Level 3.0 with AAC-LC audio up to 160 Kbps, 48kHz, stereo audio in .m4v, .mp4, and .mov file formats; MPEG-4 video, up to 2.5 Mbps, 640 by 480 pixels, 30 frames per second, Simple Profile with AAC-LC audio up to 160 Kbps, 48kHz, stereo audio in .m4v, .mp4, and .mov file formats
- Environmental Requirements: Operating temperature: 32° to 95° F (0° to 35° C); Nonoperating temperature: -4° to 113° F (-20° to 45° C), Relative humidity: 5% to 95% noncondensing
- Maximum operating altitude: 10,000 feet (3000 m)
In the box:
- (1) 8GB iPod Touch
- Headphones
- Dock Connector to USB Cable
Current Generation Note:
- iPod Touch 32GB and 64GB models have faster preformace and the Voice Control feature. The 8GB iPod Touch does not.
Specs
Apple MC086LL/A iPod Touch 8GB (Current Generation)Specs
Apple MC086LL/A iPod Touch 8GB (Current Generation)Sales Stats
- Speed to First Woot:
- 8m 54.000s
Purchaser Experience
Purchaser Seniority
Quantity Breakdown
Percentage of Sales Per Hour
12 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
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