Chumps come up to me all the time and ask "Excuse me, Apollo Steel, sir, but can you tell me what it takes to be a true player?" I usually have my bodyguards gently escort them face-down onto the sidewalk, because a player is nothing if not busy. I've always got places to go, and platinum dub-sixes to polish, and empty Cristal bottles to fill with generic sparkling wine. But since I like you, I'll let you in on a few secrets. Observe closely as I illustrate the aspects of being a true player.

Take the Archos AV700 40GB 7” Portable Media Player. This stone-cold PMP doesn't wait around for something to happen, it makes things happen. It doesn't scrounge for crumbs falling off the table - it jumps up there and grabs the whole loaf. Not literally, you understand. For one thing, it doesn't have any legs. But it's always ready to move, and if you think it's too big to be very portable, well, that's your problem, not the Archos AV700's.

You wanna talk about living large? Check out that big, bright 16:9 7" LCD screen. You gotta shine to show the world you're for real, know what I'm saying? A true player is always ready for any situation, and the Archos AV700 can handle AVI, MPEG-4, and WMV video files, DivX and Xvid codecs, and MP3 audio files. Fully loaded with a super-size 40GB hard drive and a USB 2.0 interface, this is one cat that will neither punk out nor cop out. And for four hours of video playback or 30 hours of music playback, its battery won't run out.

It's not easy being a player. Most suckers are not cut out for the life. They can't hang when things get heavy. But one true player always recognizes another - and take it from Apollo Steel: the Archos AV700 is the rilly-o dilly-o.

Back to top