...no, check this out, man, seriously. When the first movie was shown – I think it was of, like, a train – people actually got up and hauled A out of the movie because they thought a real train was coming to kill them! I’m crappin’ you negative, look it up! And now, man, now? Now you can actually watch a movie in your car. Think about that for a minute. Wait, what?

Oh, yeah, yeah, the Audiovox D1020 Portable AC/DC 10” LCD TV/DVD Player, right. Try saying that four times fast, dude, seriously! It’s got a 16:9, 10” LCD screen, and you can watch TV or DVDs on it. Also, man – wait, this is cool – it’s got AC and DC power adapters, a couple of detachable speakers, two pairs of wireless headphones, and this thing, this other thing…what’s that thing called? Where you can turn your car radio to a certain station and the DVD sound is, like, coming through the radio? What’s that thing called? A moderator?

Anyway, about the car, right, look, the D1020 comes with this black leather, like, harness or something, so you can strap it to the back of the car seat. So here’s my question, man. Say you’re in your car, parked on some train tracks, and you’re watching that train movie that freaked everybody out, and then along comes an actual train down the tracks, headed right for you at, like, a hundred miles an hour? Would that mean those old-timey people were right to freak out, man? Just because there's a train coming at you in a movie doesn't mean there isn't one coming in real life, am I right? Hey, listen, you ever seen a train accident? It’s wild, man. This one time…

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