We were so happy, me and my iPod Hi-Fi. We were even talking about getting married, having kids, alphabetizing our CDs together. Then the Blue Raven Maestro iPod Speaker Dock moved in.

At first, she fit right in, like the ideal roommate. She had the same built-in iPod dock, the same proverbial “room-filling sound” we were used to. She was always so helpful, so willing to pitch in by charging our iPhone, or even accomodating another kind of media player through the auxiliary jack. We didn’t mind that her video-out only worked with 5th generation iPods. How could we, when she was so much fun to have around? And it’s not like the Blue Raven Maestro was a drain on our finances.

But then I started to notice the similarities. The creepy similarities. The disturbing, creepy similarities. The same sleek modern design, right down to the handles. The same need to enter airplane mode for interference-free play from the iPhone. I started to feel like the Blue Raven Maestro was obsessed with the iPod Hi-Fi…like she was trying to imitate the iPod Hi-Fi…like she wanted to be the iPod Hi-Fi.

Then came that night. I was tired. I’d worked a double at Cupcake Heaven and I just wanted to unwind with some Peter Bjorn & John. When I came home, the apartment was dark. It was so relaxing I didn’t even turn the light on, just went into my room, connected my iPod, used the remote to find the album I wanted, and laid back in ecstasy.

It wasn’t until much later that I left the bedroom for a drink. And there, in the half-light of the living room, I saw something that chilled me to my guts: my iPod Hi-Fi.

So the boombox in the bedroom, the one I had just been pleasured by, was the Blue Raven Maestro. And I hadn’t even known the difference.

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