It’s not a novelty item. It’s a teaching tool.

Our dear friend Candi the USB Pole Dancer isn’t just a way to make your desk look a little more grown-up. It’s also a great way to practice your craft. That’s right, girls, we know you’re out there. Just statistically speaking, we’ve got to have some strippers who read us regularly. And we’re fine with that, you know, it beats waitressing.

But when you’re on that stage, you can’t test stuff out. You can’t say “hey, DJ guy, play some Brian Eno tonight, would you?” And that’s where Candi comes in. Plug her into your MP3 player and turn on your favorite song, and she’ll test it out for you with a robotic sensuality, all while multi-colored disco lights spin. No batteries, no software, no trouble.

Before long, your innovative song choices will make you the next global phenomenon. “Where does she get her ideas?” they’ll say. And you’ll smile, and shrug, and go back to counting all that money you’ll be making.

Oh, and guys might like it too. For some reason.

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