With a Disney Ice Shaver, you can turn ice cubes into something sweet that makes your whole family happy! Kinda like what they did with Walt…

Okay, maybe you’re not clear on what this is. The Disney Ice Shaver is a nice little machine that makes shaved ice, which is the stuff that makes sno-cones. We want to point that out early, because if you’re the one guy trying to bring back the Van Winkle, you’re probably not going to find the Disney Ice Shaver to be an effective way of cutting those little lines into the side of your head.

What you will find is that the Disney Ice Shaver makes a fantastic sno-cone. Best of all, the syrup is not included! All right, that might seem like a problem at first, but stop thinking like an adult. Think about it from a child’s perspective. Because what the words “syrup not included” actually mean is “add as much syrup as you want at any time”. Do you think the ideal sno-cone is one part ice and twenty six parts syrup? Now’s your chance to prove it!

The Disney Ice Shaver has a kid-safe design which means your kids will never be exposed to the blade, unless maybe they hit the Disney Ice Shaver repeatedly with a brick. And if you’re letting your children play with bricks, you probably won’t be that worried about the kid-safe design to begin with. But you might enjoy knowing that the Disney Ice Shaver comes with a Mickey Mouse sno-cone shaper that helps make perfectly shaped sno-cones. And your stupid unsupervised brick-loving kids could probably throw it at someone and that might be fun for them for a few minutes.

Of course the Disney Ice Shaver will never replace the feeling of eating ice cream by the swimming pool in Orlando, but studies have proven that children really don’t remember things very clearly. Which means a bathtub and a Disney Ice Shaver and a good cover story about how all the vacation photos were lost in a fire could suddenly become a memory of the wonderful family trip to Disneyworld! And Mom and Dad can use that money to replace the big screen television that got hit by a brick while the neighbor’s kids were over.

Whatever your plans for the Disney Ice Shaver, keep in mind that shaved ice is calorie-free (at least until you add the syrup) and makes a great summer treat. And you can also kill a guy with ice, and then it will melt and the cops will never find the murder weapon. Because vengeance is like sno-cones. Best served cold.

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