You need people like me so you can point your freakin’ fingers and say, “That’s the guy who keeps a messy house.”

Oh! You startled me, Mr. Montana! I didn’t see you glaring there. I’ll be just a minute more, and then everything will be nice and tidy for you, okay?

Now then, all of the linens have been cleaned and put away, and the bed has been freshly made. Your suits are pressed and hung in the closet. The floors are freshly waxed, all the woodwork has been polished, and I made sure to go over the carpets three times with the Dyson DC25 Upright Ball Vacuum. Oh, that reminds me. While I was wiping down the monitors in your office, I went ahead and did something about all that white dust that had piled up on your desk.

Honestly, Mr. Montana, if you had said something about it sooner, it wouldn’t have been an issue. I’m just glad I already had the Dyson out when I saw it, you know. Sucked it all up the on-board hose in a jiffy thanks to its constant 220 airwatts of suction power. I even went over all the rugs and upholstery with the brush bar to make sure I got it all. Hopefully the air in there will be cleaner, too, what with the Dyson’s Lifetime HEPA Filtration. Who wants all that stuff up their nose and in their lungs?

Well, I’ll leave you alone, Mr. Montana. I’ll just empty the bin in the garbage outside and be on my way. What’s that? Your little friend wants to say hello? My, that’s a very fancy gun, sir, but I wouldn’t call it “little.” Besides, I only do house cleaning. That looks like the kind of thing you want a professional gun cleaner to take care of.

Back to top