Unless we’ve messed up and put this on the wrong day, today is Friday, July 25th! Today, in 1897, writer Jack London sailed to the Klondike to hunt for gold. London soon began writing stories and became an author beloved by millions, which is why they put him in that Next Generation episode where Data got his head cut off by aliens. Wouldn’t it be cool if they reran that tonight? It would look great on the 32” Emerson LCD HDTV.

It’s a hard life, being a writer. Sometimes we here on staff like to imagine that, a hundred years from now, some tv show will have a heroic away team landing at the Woot offices. When they walk in our famous door we’ll be right there at our desks. We’ll talk about the 720p HD resolution as the away team works to secretly sweep the room for Oblitatron particles. When the episode ends, fans of the show who’ve never heard of us will talk about how we were pioneers in nu-media. A few inventive cosplayers will dress like us at DragonCon CXX! Then they’ll become frustrated when no one recognizes them and change into Deadpool costumes.

Really, if you think about it, there’s no greater way to show respect than to stuff your heroes into your fantasy plot. Remember how Cancer Man took credit for killing Dr. Martin Luther King? Or how the Vulcans invented Velcro? Moments such as these are why HDTV was invented. And also how Kevin J. Anderson can crank out like thirty books a year.

So this Friday, don’t go out and create the future. Sit down and reinterpret the past! Because who knows? Maybe your story about how The Tempest is a metaphor for the secret Dalek invasion of London will be the one that makes it to the 32” Emerson LCD HDTV. And remember the golden rule of American time travel: When in doubt, throw in Mark Twain!

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