Anyone can just snap a bunch of shots and save them later. I prefer adventure.

You see, I like to spice up birthday parties and family vacations, and with this new GFM TDC-35 3 in 1 Digital Camera I never know when I’m going to lose my photos. Oh it’s got a spacious 8 Mb memory for photos or videos (at 8Mb I guess that would make it video) which, the manual assures me, will add up to over 400 photos. As long as they’re all compressed QVGA format. Realistically, I figure I’ve got about 20 decent shots before this baby is overloaded. Memory card? Ha! Does Ted Nugent go hunting pigs with a gun “just in case?” No! He tackles them with his bare hands and rips through their jugular with his canines. I take photos of my kids in much the same way, and that means I have to choose my shots carefully because I’ve got no backup. I’m like a photographic sniper, waiting for just that perfect moment, because I can’t afford to waste a single round in the chamber. Unfortunately, I also can’t afford to wait very long. See, this little fella only takes one AAA battery, which is good for the environment I guess, but I don’t know if you’ve ever powered electronic devices on a single AAA before; AAAs aren’t exactly known for endurance, y’know?

I know what you’re probably thinking: “so you’ve got to line up your shots carefully? So maybe the camera turns off too soon? Just keep some extra batteries on hand and pick up where you left off.” Well there’s not much adventure in any of that at all, is there? No, the challenge comes in racing that battery life. See, this dastardly little devil deletes your pictures when the battery dies. Bet you didn’t see that coming, did ya? There’s a Zen-like calm that overtakes a man at his son’s baseball game when he realizes he sees the LCD screen start flashing and realizes that’s the symbol for “you’re about to lose it all.” Your focus narrows and you go from a man holding a camera to a single entity, a mamera if you will, with your only mission to seek out a USB cable hooked to a computer so you can transfer your pics.

After you’ve seen what I’ve seen, a regular ol’ digital camera just can’t compare.

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