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What she says: Hi, I couldn’t help noticing your Invicta
Men’s Stainless Steel Pro Diver Multifunction Watch. I bet you’re one
of those adventurous types.
What she means: Your rugged yet refined choice of watch tells
me you might be good at providing for my offspring and defending them
from wolves, enemy tribes, and schoolyard bullies.
What he says:
Oh, this old thing? Why, yes, its surgical-grade stainless steel
construction and 100-meter water resistance do come in handy when I go
mountain climbing, whitewater rafting, or hiking through the Kalahari.
With its Swiss quartz movement, I always know I’ll be on time for my
next client meeting or yoga class. And when I cross the International
Date Line on one of my frequent overseas business trips, I only have to
reset the day and date calendar once to stay on schedule.
What he means: Sometimes I drink so much Woot wine that I drop
my watch in the toilet, or forget what day it is and miss my shift
behind the register at GameStop.
What she says: I see. And what about the blue face? Pretty bold choice.
What she means: A blue watch with an orange shirt? Either you're color-blind or you play for the New York Mets.
What he says: I’m a bold guy.
What he means: It was the only color for sale on Woot.
What she says: Very interesting. I guess this must be my lucky day. I don’t meet many guys like you, you know.
What she means: Well, you don’t smell quite as bad as most of
the other creeps in here. And you’re not wearing a baseball cap with a
beer-company or farm-implement logo on it. You’ll do, for now.
What he says: There aren’t many guys like me. Maybe we could continue this conversation back at your place.
What he means: I can’t afford any more drinks, and my mom always wakes up when I try to sneak women into the house.
What she says: Sounds great. Mind if I ride with you?
What she means: I have to make sure you drive something decent before I go through with this.
What he says: My lady, your chariot awaits.
What he means: I hope she does’t live too far from the bus line.
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