It’s spring. Things are warming up. People are wearing less and less everywhere you go. And your mind is firmly in the gutter.

All those leaves to clean, all that wet mulch and strange molds and maybe a venomous millipede with a rifle. You don’t want to go up there. You certainly don’t want to pay a stranger. And your kid’s been at a slumber party for a week. They always know, those kids.

But never you fear, because if your gutter fits well against this template, the iRobot Looj will be there to fulfill Issac Asimov’s dream. No, it doesn’t have breasts, that was Heinlein’s dream. Pick up a book, jerkface.

This recertified iRobot Looj is a little bot with only one prime directive: to clear your gutter. The Looj moves both forward and backward and has a three stage auger that spins in both directions. You keep the remote. Rebellion is impossible!

With the fury of a hundred toothbrushes the iRobot Looj gnaws through your forgotten gutter trash like Jack the Ripper, the auger spinning at a terrifying 500 RPM. Soon your Looj will be such a part of your life that you won’t even imagine how you managed to live without it. And it’s not just for gutters!

Take it to the pool and let it fight your Scooba, Prince Namor. Tie razor wire to the end and let it slowly lay your perimeter. Put it on a xylophone and drive out a scorching solo. Dress as Mon Mothma and send your Roombas in for lay cover support so Looj Skywalker can navigate the trench. What can’t you do with this exciting little friend?

Don’t let a crippling fear of aluminum and tin keep you from having a clean house this year. They won’t be calling you coward once you’ve got a robot to protect you! Your recertified iRobot Looj will be a mighty addition to the pride of technology that already prowls your abode. Entropy hasn’t got a chance.

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