At long last, Woot peddles a vac-bot that hasn't been banned by a court order! Presenting the fully legal iRobot Roomba Discovery, from the family of disciform floorborgs that revolutionized the way we clean (or don't clean) our walking surfaces. This particular iRobot costs more than a copy of the similarly-titled Will Smith vehicle, but it won't leave you feeling betrayed and embarrassed.

What's that, Mr. Van Winkle? You want to know how it works? Simply punch the appropriate buttons on the Roomba's exoskeleton or the included remote control. Then gaze placidly on while your new mecha-maid greedily slurps up all the crud, soil, and filth generated by your unsavory lifestyle. Dorito crumbs, short curly hairs, stray granules of cocaine: all vanish into the Roomba Discovery's voracious maw, and still it begs for more. Why not pour yourself a drink while you wait? We recommend a mojito, but only if you can get ahold of real Cuban limes. (You can't.)

If the Roomba Discovery (just "Roomba" to its friends) detects a particularly messy stretch of floor, it kicks its cleaning power up a notch. Roomba knows how big your room is. It knows how long it will take to clean it. It can tell when it's moved from one type of surface to another. Roomba detects when it's become stuck and initiates its escape procedure. It won't fall down stairs, and you can use the included "virtual wall" to contain its wanderings. This lowly floor-cleaner just might be the smartest member of your family.

What's more, it's got brawn and agility to go with its intelligence. Roomba's rotating agitators force dirt out of its hiding places, and its side brush can clean right up to the base of your walls. As soon as it has completed its assigned tasks, the Roomba obediently returns to its base to recharge and await further instructions. It literally only comes to life to serve you. The sheer power can become addictive if you're not careful.

This pertickler Discovery model was created after the first generation of Roombi, taking into account some of the peeves people had with the earlier models: for instance, its batteries now fully charge in a mere 3 hours, a 60% improvement over earlier models. According to iRobot, "world-class roboticists created Roomba" and then "experts tested it." We take this to mean that the Roomba will almost certainly not massacre your entire family in a death orgy of inscrutable machine rage, but we regret that we cannot offer refunds in the event that it does. Hey, if you want a plantation full of robot slaves, you have to accept the risk of a bloody uprising.

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