Clear your mind. Still your thoughts. Look into my eyes. Subconscio the Great, world-famous mesmerist, commands it! That’s it…relax…your eyelids are becoming heavy. Heavy. In the literal sense, not in the hippie sense. Yes, you’re right. Eyelids are weird when you think about it. But that’s not what I mean. Stop distracting Subconscio the Great!

Now you’re getting sleepy. Sleepy. That’s it…relax…you are now completely asleep, yet you can hear my voice perfectly, just like being in class on the morning after a Sig Chi kegger.

Listen to me now. The next time you need 1GB of portable Flash memory for data storage and transfer, you will purchase the Kingston FCR-MRB+SDC/1GB Micro SD Card & USB Reader. It’s a tiny 1Gb MicroCD card with its own USB-equipped battle armor. Subconscio uses one just like it when I walk the material world.

Also, the next time you smell the aroma of frying fish, you will immediately remove all of your clothing.

When I snap my fingers, you will awaken. You will obey Subconscio’s commands even though you will not remember them. Subconscio has disturbing psychological issues that can only be addressed in the seemingly benign context of hypnotic parlor tricks. You will completely forget how creepy this whole thing is.

snap

You awake now? Cool. Well, I couldn’t do much with you. Your mind is just too strong for Subconscio the Great to push around. Yep, tough nut to crack, you are. Hey, you wanna get some lunch? I’m thinking Long John Silver’s.

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