TO: Frank Pollard, CEO
FROM: Brennan Kerr, IT Associate
SENT: Friday, 14 Nov 2008, 12:03:00 AM
RE: Routine Maintenance

Hi Mr. Pollard -

Brennan from IT here, just letting you know that I fixed the problem with the slow network connection. Seems you picked up a nasty booger of a worm somewhere, but I cut his head off. Let’s see if he’ll grow back, ha ha. Anyway, you should be good to go. Let me know if you notice any more problems.

I should also tell you about something else I found. In your root C directory, in the Apps folder, under Miscellaneous Plug-Ins, then in a folder marked “jksdfljkl8793204”, I happened to notice some hidden image files. I unhid them, and they appeared to be some fiendishly clever Photoshop jobs showing you in various intimate situations with someone who is not your wife. Frankly, I’m not even positive it’s actually a woman. You can always tell by the hands.

Anyway, clearly, these were created and placed here by one of your enemies to embarrass and discredit you. Since it would be a real shame for your family or business associates to stumble across these photos – especially the ones involving the wire whisk, ouch! – I moved them all onto my trusty Kingston 2GB MicroSD Card.

Now, you’re probably thinking “My computer doesn’t even have a MicroSD slot.” That’s true. But the Kingston 2GB MicroSD Card comes with a full-size SD Card adapter. So I had no problem saving all of these scandalous pictures to my MicroSD card. And once I got home, it was a snap to transfer them to six other Kingston 2GB MicroSD Cards which I have now stored in various secure locations.

If you would like the images back, perhaps to use as evidence in prosecuting whoever doctored them to incriminate you, I’d be happy to sell you one of the MicroSD cards, at cost. The card itself is $2.59, plus a $25,000 handling fee. And if there’s any way you could throw in your VIP parking pass, I’d really appreciate it.

No need to thank me. I’m just glad I found these pics before they could be emailed to everybody in your address book.

Thanks -
Brennan

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