This Teaser could use a little work, don’t you think? How about something that refers to the Kitrics Digital Nutrition Label Scale more?

Hey Writer Boy,

Hope you’re having a good time at your desk and that the rats haven’t been too terribly bitey down there in the cellar.

First wanted to thank you for writing up the Kitrics Digital Nutrition Label Scale/attending the party, etc. Hang on, I guess it was actually assigned to you, wasn’t it? It’s not like you asked to write it up, truth be told. And you didn’t attend Bob’s party, did you? I certainly don’t remember seeing you there, but then I don’t think you would have been invited, really. This is actually the first you’re hearing about it, I bet. So instead, I guess I’m more congratulating you on getting to write this Kitrics Digital Nutrition Label Scale, and it’s probably best you forget any party ever happened. Right.

Speaking of the write up, I just wanted to raise a small concern that we have regarding the piece before it runs. A few of us here in Quality Control felt it was a little too "snarky” and wondered if the “snark” could be toned down. Also, we love that word “snark”. Reminds us of Snorks and they were always good for a giggle. Let me type it again a few more times. Snark snark snark. Tee hee!

Look, we know Woot has its own “voice” and “editorial standards” which change on an almost daily basis, but we’re hoping you might take another look at it and make a few edits that we’d like to suggest in a vaguely threatening manner.

For instance, the part where you have the narrator lamenting about measuring the calories, carbohydrates, proteins, fat, sugars, cholesterol and sodium in his food? We were thinking you might change that to something that celebrates the act more. Like maybe he could say “Juicy Jiminy! I’d can’t wait to total up my daily food intake to help achieve health goals!” or “All the sassy ladies in my social demographic of people ages 18-34 will totally flip over the new healthier me.” You can use those. In fact, you should.

Also, we were a little concerned about the end where your narrator breaks down mentally and begins to gorge himself on several jars of brown gravy seems a little unrealistic. Here’s what we came up with: “Golly gee, I’m glad I bought a Kitrics Digital Nutrition Label Scale in one of several designer colors! Now to ride off on my magic Pegasus to the Kingdom Of Low-Calorie Wonders where the Power of Portion Control will save the land! Come, Silvermane! Let’s fly!” That was Steve’s idea, and we think it’s a much better fit.

Anyway, just some things to think about. If you have good reasons not to change anything that are better than keeping your job, just let us know. We’re sure you’ll come to the “write” (HA!) decision.

Thanks!

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