Anchorwoman: ...but Dad, a senior administration official, said today that even if he meets curfew every weekend for the next month, Chad’s allowance will not immediately return to its pre-grounding levels.

Anchorman: Now let’s turn to Al Tostratus at the Actionwitness Weather Desk for the latest on the weather around your house. Al, I understand some of our viewers may be looking at some sticky conditions this morning.

Weatherman: That’s right, and our Lacrosse WS-9410U Indoor Comfort Meter in Bathroom Grove tells the story: they’ll be seeing some intense humidity for the next fifteen or twenty minutes along with temperatures in the low 80s. But we expect that to clear up as soon as Mom finishes taking her shower. Elsewhere around the house, our Lacrosse Indoor Comfort Meters tell us we’ve got temperatures of 71 in Kitchenburg, 69 in Masterbedroom Heights, and reaching as low as 66 in the basement portion of our viewing area. I’m going to say temperatures will stay right at these levels throughout the day, then dip by a few degrees around bedtime when Dad turns the thermostat down. That’s the weather from Al Tostratus at the Actionwitness Weather Desk, brought to you by the Lacrosse WS-9410U Indoor Comfort Meter.

Anchorwoman: Thanks, Al. Coming up: someone keeps trying to flush too much toilet paper down the toilet, and the consequences have been inconvenient and messy. But the culprit hasn’t stepped forward. Who’s to blame? Stay tuned for Take the Plunge, a special Actionwitness News investigative report.

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