We are very particular about our Xboxing conditions. We remove all breakable objects from the room and stock the shelves with bottles of fortified water, SportRite discount sports drink, liquid adrenaline, and plasma. We wear supportive but breathable undergarments. We put in our 90-minute tape that repeats “Highway To The Danger Zone” for its entire duration, and we play it loud. We do not replace the tape with a CD on “repeat.” The tape has brought us luck since 1987. Finally, we cover the living-room floor in plastic and triple-deadbolt the front and back doors. Then, and only then, do we dare lay hands on the machine.

The problem is, we cut back to working one shift a week so we could spend more time sharpening up the old Xbox skills. Most of that money goes to our Xbox Live subscription and, you know, food or whatever. So until today, poverty forced us to use the cruddy headset that came with the subscription. But this laudable Logitech Cordless Headphone 2-pack is cheap enough for even socially unnecessary layabouts like us to afford, while fully meeting our exacting standards of excellence.

In the heat of pretend battles, we need to be able to move however emotion compels us to. So the cordless freedom of this headset is truly a mitzvah. The signal sounds good like a 2.4 GHz signal should, but the noise-canceling microphone ensures that our enemies dont leech any stray motivation from our “Danger Zone” tape by hearing it in the background. Our only complaint? The batteries only hold a charge for six hours, which is like nothing for a serious gamer. We solve that problem by using the pair in sequence, one after the other. Even that limits our sessions to twelve hours, but for all these other features, we’re willing to make the sacrifice.

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