Danielle: And I was just totally like, “Dad, are you trying to embarrass me to death, or are you actually stupid enough to think that beret hat is cool?” Then he gave me another fifty dollars, and I was like “Finally! Come back and pick us up at 10:30. And don’t wear that hat.” Oh, my God. Don’t look – don’t look -

Jessica: What is – oh, no. Here he comes.

Danielle: Dustin Hernandez and his MP3 player of death…Oh, hi, Dustin. What are you doing here? Did Dunkin Donuts close early today?

Dustin: Hey guys! Just listening to the new Enslaved Suffering EP. Came out in Norway last week. It’s intense. They got Thorsson from Djevelen Morder on backup howls. Here, you’ve gotta hear it -

Jessica: Uh, no, really, that’s OK. I think I’ve gotta go, like, catch lice or something.

Dustin: Look, I know what’s going on here. You don’t want to put my earbuds in your ears, not even to hear the majesty that is Enslaved Suffering. Fine. Fair enough. You think I’m a gross, greasy, tacky slob, and the idea of touching my headphones, much less putting them near your hair, is intolerably disgusting, maybe even makes you wanna puke. Does that cover it?

Danielle: (slow clapping)

Dustin: Here’s what you don’t get: I’ve got two Logitech PlayGear Share Audio Splitters here. So you can each plug your own headphones into my MP3 player, and we can all three experience the mighty Enslaved Slaughter juggernaut together, without exchanging so much as a skin cell. Now, if you’ll get your headphones out, the first song here is “Infectrical Abominatrix”...hey, where are you guys going? Didn’t you hear what I said about the Logitech PlayGear Share Audio Splitter? Fine, then, go! Next time you wanna hear this Enslaved Suffering EP, don't come crawling to me! You can just go pay Norwegian import prices!

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